2p!America x Reader: I Saved You From Death Ch.1

(Sequel to 2p!America x Reader: I Don't Fear Death)

Suicide.

You understood the thought of suicide, you saw why it was so possible and that it was a person’s own choice as to if they wanted to end their own life since it is their own…but at the same time you thought it also wasn’t ‘their’ choice but just an emotional infection that affected the mind. You knew, absolutely knew, that the thoughts of suicide isn’t really their own. A person isn’t born thinking about such thoughts but is thought through as life goes on, an aftermath of all the things that have been placed in one’s life from people or events. So, it was their choice but at the same time wasn’t on whether or not they should commit suicide.

Even the thought of someone ending their own life because it was just so hard to continue living made your own heart ache; your sweet heart always felt the need to try and help. With seeing others in such depression to points of suicide or even hearing upon it always tugs at your heart while telling you that you could help, that you could save a life from being ended too early.

Was a person’s life really destined to end in such a way, maybe, maybe not, you wouldn’t ever know but still the pain was there. You personally hated the fact of someone dying too young, suicide included because it just says that the person who had committed the act thought that there wasn’t anything to live for any longer. Though you and everyone should know that there will always be something, no matter how small, that is worth a person to continue living. Sadly with such thoughts of suicide it blinds the mind, fogs it up, and deceives the body and soul that there is nothing. It’s impossible for there to be nothing, always something, always.

No matter how broken one’s life may be at one moment of time doesn’t mean that it will go on forever. It’s impossible for something of such extreme hurt to just continue to flow at someone forever, life is always moving and changing, life will bring bad but good days as well. If someone were to continue looking forward, if they were able to see past the blinding fog of suicide, they would have saw something to live for—a future shaped for them.

But it’s hard, so terribly hard, to see past such thoughts once they enter into one’s mind; this is why we have the loved ones of our family and friends. They are always there, even if one doesn’t believe it, they are always there to help the ones they care about because that one person means so much. And even if the world seems to be against someone there will always, always, always be at least one person who cares, that is just what life is. Life gives and life takes, but life always makes sure that there is a way for someone to succeed and live on all the while becoming stronger and wiser in heart and mind.

It is the fact that one gives up, the fact that one doesn’t seek help, the fact that one is alone and broken that causes them to seek another path that isn’t the original road of life, but to death. True everyone is bound to death but we were made to live, why else would we have been born in a world? A person is made to live before they die, but living a life halfway defeats such a purpose.

Though you understood, you understood all too well the thoughts of suicide because you’ve gone down that road before. Twice before; one at the age 10-11 when your dearest mother had died…and another when you loved one, Al, had killed you best friend a few years back, Vanessa. That foggy feeling, that despair, that broken heart, the tears, the pain, the feeling of lost, everything, you had felt all of that pain that comes with the thoughts of serious suicidal hurt. Sometimes you even wondered how you were able to go through such heart breaking experiences you been through, but you always thanked the care and love you had for others and the care and love others had for you.

Without your brothers and father, your caring and protective older brother, your dependent and loving little brother, and your hard-working and affectionate father, you may not have been able to keep going. Your mother meant so much to you from you being that close with her and seeing your mother murdered in front of your eyes had hurt you so much that you might not have made it—you were only 10 when it happened after all…

Though thanks to your brother, five years older than you, you probably were able to recover. He understood the situation perfectly since he was 15 and he knew he couldn’t allow himself to fall into depression when his only and very loved younger sister, you, was in desperate need for his care and support. Ethan, your older brother, gave you all of that. He protected you from harm’s way, he made sure you’d stay happy, he tried his best to cook and clean around the house as your dad had to get two jobs since your mother’s death. Ethan had taken the role of the second father in the house and wanted to protect you the most because of the terrible experience you went through, from nearly getting kidnapped to the blood that had shed from mother.

And you were also so thankful for your younger brother, five years younger than you, was probably another reason as you had pushed yourself to recover. Him only being five he needed a motherly role model in his life, he had followed you around as if a lost puppy seeking for your attention and guidance when you, yourself, needed guidance during that time. With the love you held for your dear little brother you had done your best to be a great motherly figure even if only ten. Jay, your younger brother, had grown quite close to you, being just as protective or at least possessive as Ethan had become throughout the years. The three of you had supported each other through our hardest years as your father had to work so hard and long for the three of you--your family means so much to you.

But through your arts were you able to see how your once happy drawings and music turn dark showing that your own heart had been growing dark. With the care of your family and the love for your talents you had managed to pull yourself through depression, and you were so, so thankful for that. But it seems like some people weren’t able to see the things around them that are trying to help them through their tough times, the pain.

Not to mention your other phase of suicide, though way shorter than the one you had when you were ten, that phase was just as painful. The man you had fallen in love with, Alfred F. Jones, had killed your best friend at the time, Vanessa because she was at your home at the wrong time. It was heart breaking when you had come home just moments after the murder, seeing the blood and death the filled the room. Then following that the arrest of Al and the gang so they could be sentence to death for killing off so many police officers.

It’s actually amazing when your memory and the rest of the world’s knowledge of their existence simply disappeared out in a blink of an eye. And luckily, even if your memory had been erased, the feeling that you were missing something important made you find it all out along with a simple sketch that you drew, but not after a whole month of a terrible case of insomnia since that feeling was so nagging. Now that you thought about it you never did find out why that all happened, maybe Al would know, you’d ask him tomorrow.

“Doll, I think you should turn off the TV, watching news like that any longer is just going to make you feel depressed.”

Your train of long thought broke as you came back to reality; you hadn’t realized you had gotten in such deep thought. You shook your head slightly before you looked up at the TV, oh right, the cause of why these thoughts entered your mind…One of the most popular singer in the world from America had committed suicide by overdosing…along with a few groups of this singer’s biggest fans who couldn’t handle the news of the singer’s death.

You let out a shaky sigh but became a bit alert when you felt warm and gentle arm wrapped around you, Al had sat down next to you on the couch and went to comfort you. You then closed your eyes and leaned against Al; happy he was here but with the news that these people committed suicide did bring your mood down.

You soon felt Al’s gloved hand wipe your cheek, you must have been crying without knowing, before you heard him sigh, “Stop feeling so bad, ____, there was nothing you could have done.”

You gave a nod, “I know but…I just can’t help but feel sad…and a bit confused. I can understand why this singer committed suicide but these teenagers? Why? Why did they have to just end their lives because their favorite singer died? I know they must’ve felt really sad but…I don’t really think they thought of what they were about to do when they committed suicide, just a spur of the moment kind of decision. These teens could have lived such a long life; they could’ve been someone great…”

Al said nothing, not really sure what to say, he wasn’t like you when it came to things like this. After tightening the comforting hug just a bit he reached over to the fine furnished table in front of them to grab the remote and turn of the TV. “I think it’s time to go off to bed, it’s late and you being…an actress now you’re probably very busy.”

After a nod and a moment of silence you stood up with Al by your side and you gave him a small smile, thankful for his support, which caused him to blush a bit and look away. “How are the guest rooms? Are you and the others settling in?” You wanted a light conversation right now, something to distract you for a little while.

Al gave one nod as he looked at the ground, “Yeah, and thanks for letting us stay here and all. Matt and Francis are already dead asleep and I’m sure Arthur’s…making his room into candyland.” His voice got a bit lighter at the end, as if trying to humor you, and it worked. You gave out a small giggle; it is only natural for Arthur to go crazy with his new room with him being him. “I’m glad then, besides, I couldn’t just kick you out! I wouldn’t mind at all if you guys stay in my house forever, it’s quick lonely if it’s just me anyways in such a big house.”

Al laughed a bit before gently pushing you towards your stairs, “This isn’t a house, doll, it’s an expansive three-story mansion.” You gave a happy hum as you started walking up the stairs on your own as Al followed, “You know, I actually made those guest rooms especially for you guys, I was really hoping you four would return. So, I’m really glad you did today.” As you reached the top of the stairs you smiled at Al with happy content, “Thank you so much for coming back, Al. Thank you so much…” Al could hear the emotion held in your voice and allowed you to hug him once more, allowing himself to hug back, “Yeah, I’m glad, too.”

You broke the hug and gave Al a sweet kiss on the lips as he just froze at the sudden kiss you had given. You giggled before turning towards your room and as you opened your door you turned back to Al and said sweetly, “Goodnight Al, and remember, I want to introduce you to my other friends. Love you.” You closed the door behind you silently as you placed your back to the door, hearing Al walk to his own room, and closed your eyes with your smile faded away. You wondered what tomorrow would have in store for you.

“Oh well, what happens tomorrow happens, might as well get some sleep…”